FOR PARTNERS WHEN IT FEELS LIKE THE END OF THE WORLD

Don't you just hate it when well meaning people respond to your misfortunes with banal comments like -- think positive. Your world is falling apart and some fool thinks all the problems can be swept away with a pat on the shoulder and urging you to look on the bright side - there are times in my life when sinking a hatchet into certain peoples heads would have felt like the bright side -- good job I'm not a violent type.

As a lifecoach, I would see every situation good, or bad, as something that I have attracted. It takes courage to accept how this works in practice. Also, to look for the transition for yourself, in situations that are not what you want. Once you are able to tune into the flow that is your own unique energy , you can let go of everything that holds you back. Situations in your life are the signposts that tell you it's time to get moving. This might not always be what you want or what you expected. It might be frightening and feel quite lonely as you move towards your life transition. You may feel that you can ignore it but this would be wrong. Life has a way of presenting you with situations that are ever more critical until you eventually have no choice but to move forward and grow.

Procrastination may seem the safe option but actually just opens up more opportunities for stress, tension and unhappiness. What I have observed is that the results of the worst situations in my life have often been the most amazing, satisfying and lucrative. This has happened with such regularity that I am able to skip the ' Poor me' stage almost entirely and make a shift into ' 'What's in this for me?' Inevitably there is something for you in most situations. I can work with you to find it and to keep you on track until you get where you want to be. I love working with people in challenging situations , one of which is the transgender community and their partners and families. It takes one phone call, or email to make contact with me. If you are interested in big leaps in the face of adverse situations then I would love to hear from you. Remember - Together Everything Becomes Possible.

Lynne Paris

http://www.my-diversity-coaching-gymn.net/

07795498733

Free Coaching Session on Boxing Day

Sadly I haven't been able to contribute time to Free Coaching Sessions in my Online Coaching Gymn this autumn. Designing and delivering The Gender Fest in partnership with Eastleigh Council has been an intensive but inspiring experience. I am also engaged in writing some more programmes.

Remembering when I lived as a divorcee with a young family to care for Xmas seemed to focus my attentions on what a great time everyone should be having. Don't misunderstand me, I loved arranging a wonderful xmas meal, buying wrapping and opening presents.Going to the forest to choose The Perfect Tree Sitting down to watch a good film in the afternoon in front of a real fire with a glass of wine. All things that families do a Xmas. I was very happy living an independant life and certainly not a women who craved being in a committed partnership again.

The is something about Xmas that seemed to niggle at my peace - a kind of inner voice that kept asking ' Who do you think you are kidding? You are not fooling anyone.........' Boxing day seemed to be the worst when the anti-climax set in and the kids were off doing their stuff with their mates and everything seemed to highlight what I wasn't - part of a couple and traditional family. Even though this was entirely my choice, I always dreaded the feeling of lonliness that popped up on Boxing Day. The Millenium marked a wonderful new (if unexpected) relationship and marriage for me and I no longer have an empty aching feeling on Boxing Day.

I wanted to connect with others that may be experiencing that same feeling of emptiness at Xmas really just to say hello and pass a lighthearted hour. As my Xmas contribution I've decided to run a Free Boxing Day Special Coaching Gymn Session. Anyone interested in joining me can do so via my website and we can chat in the comfort of our own homes potentially with people from all over the World.

I don't really have a sense of how busy the session will be but if anyone experiences difficulties accessing the session this will probably mean that the session is at full server capacity. Looking forward to sharing some peace, goodwill and fun with you on Boxing Day.

warm regards

Lynne Paris

http://www.my-diversity-coaching-gymn.net/

Together Everything Becomes Possible

THE GENDER FEST -- A SUCCESS

I am delighted to report that The Gender Fest was a success, according to emails and feedback that I have received after the event. The event was well attended despite being in a mainstream venue, the staff at The Point were marvellous - very welcoming and professional and provided a service as supportive as I have become used to receiving when organising Ministerial and Secretary of State events. Nothing was too much trouble. The Mayor of Eastleigh , Roger Smith surprised me by staying at The Gender Fest long after he had made his welcoming speech making himself available to listen to the guests and learning more about the real issues that the TG Community face. In truth The Mayor could have fulfilled his civic duty with much less effort and the fact that both he and Min Partner have demonstrated so much support and a willingness to listen should be commended and suggests that this is a real opportunity for the TG Community to be taken seriously and respected for just who they are.
This is the major breakthrough that I have been working hard towards as a springboard for TG people to' Step into a Great Place in The World'. Accessibility to services that TG people, partners and family want and need was a focus for the event. I was pleased to receive support from Emma Scully, Laser Therapist, Tina Livingstone, Counsellor, Vollers Corsets and Christine Crowle - professional make-up artist and Trelogan Wigs as providers. The Gender Trust , Beaumont Society also had a presence at The Fest. I was also happy to meet representatives from other TG support organisations. There are other providers who have contacted who would like to be involved in any further Gender Fest that we hold.
The music - open mike - section went down very well with Rachel and Bridget performing. There are other aritsts waiting in the wings to contribute to this performance which will emphasise that the event is for having fun as much as the health and welfare aspect. I have discovered a wealth of creative talent in the TG Community and hope to develop the creative and cultural aspect of The Gender Fest over time.
I have recruited another member to The Mastermind Team that worked with me to design the initial event and I have some great news in the offing that I will publicise when I can. I'll be compiling a lessons learned list so interested to hear constructive feedback from anyone who has suggestions on how things can be improved.
Also, anyone wishing to stage a Gender Fest should contact me to discuss copyright. I am happy to support within time constraints but I hope to continue working in partnership with Eastleigh Council if they wish and to co-ordinate progress around them.
I will also be interviewing with a student from Bournmouth University about the Social Impact of The Gender Fest and he is interested in talking to TG people who would like to share views. Anyone who would like to be involved can contact Mike via myself. Also company wishing to develop accessibility for their services or any TG member, partner or family who shares my vision of 'A Great Place in The World' for the TG Community can access my services via my website, e-mail or telephone - anonymously if required.

warm regards
Lynne Paris
Diversity Coach
http://www.my-diversity-coaching-gymn.net/
Together Everything Becomes Possible
Tel 07795498733

THE GENDER FEST, THE POINT, EASTLEIGH - 5TH NOV

Everything is set for an excellent evening at The Gender Fest at The Point in Eastleigh, Hampshire on Monday 5th November 7.00pm - 11.00 pm .

The programme will include a Make Up Demo which will be enhanced by ModelMake Up Professional for both male and female who specialises in using light reflective makeup and feminising make up. She has published in Vogue and OK Magazine. There will be a Laser Therapy Presentation , Wig Display, Fashion Rails, Demonstration of how to fit and wear a Victorian Corset by Vollers Corsets. Lots of information and contacts ( also for partners, families and female to male transexuals) will be available from My Diversity Coaching Gymn . The Beaumont Society will have a presence, as will The New Therapy Rooms launched by Tina Livingstone, and we have now been approached by an Intersex Specialist who will be present.

Clearly there will be lots to discuss at the Gender Fest and opportunities to purchase goods and get discounts (and sometimes free services time permitting) . This is all set in a very smart venue with relaxing settings and friendly supportive staff. The aim is to have fun whilst making useful contacts and picking up tips to make your life more comfortable and less stressful. Whatever your TG issue is you will find support at The Gender Fest.

To make the evening more enjoyable there will be a short original music set with award winning singer songwriter and also TG singer songer writer Rachel Livingstone with songs that are really relevant to TG - Can You See The Girl, The Phoenix and also Discrimination. The evening will wind up with TG Bridget singing a couple of cover songs.

There is a bar, substantial buffet and The Mayor will be calling in to offer support to the TG Community. All this for an unbelievable £7.00 per head ( £5.00 concessions ) thanks to support from Eastleigh Council and Min Partner Head of Diversity and Equality.

There will be a strong police presence to ensure safety for all guests and changing facilities
for people who would prefer not to arrive dressed. The venue is completely private for the event and will be ticket only for people who share an interest in the TG Community so discretion is guaranteed. Parking is available in Sainsbury's car park - just a 2 min walk fro The Point and the police will be present to ensure safety.

Tickets are available from the Box Office at the Point, Eastleigh ( see events page on my website for more details http://www.my-diversity-coaching-gymn.net/ ) Any problems obtaining tickets ( worries about identity, bank payments etc ) contact Min Partner direct ( see website for mobile no). Any tickets that are not sold at the Box Office will be available on the door but it would be wise to ring Min to reserve.

DATE FOR GENDER FEST

I am delighted to announce that the Gender Fest has been scheduled for 5th November 2007 at 7.00 pm which is a Monday evening and therefore less likely to clash with any bonfire celebrations. We are keeping the venue, which is very accessible in South Hampshire, UK, secret for the time being to increase security but I can tell you that it is a well appointed and safe venue with private changing rooms for utmost discretion and security will be in place. The venue will be totally dedicated to the event and no unassociated people will be permitted into the building.

Current plans are to charge £7.00 per ticket £5.00 concessions which will include a buffet meal. There is a very attractive bar on site. This pricing represents very good value for money.

The Gender Fest is an important step for the TG campaign because I am working in partnership with local government which means that the needs of transgender people and their families will be included in the Community Strategy and developed in a gentle non threatening manner to fully support TG's. All existing TG organisations and charities will be encouraged to collaborate in the event. The intent is that this should become an annual event that grows organically to enhance existing events and services.

All interested parties are invited to a planning meeting at 7.00 pm at The Council Offices in Eastleigh ( see Eastleigh Government Website for directions) . The main point of contact in The Council is the Head of Equality and Diversity Division -- Min Partner who is happy for interested parties to contact her directly on her personal mobile to avoid any undue embarrassment.

Min Partner -- Landline 02380688439 (UK numbers)
Mobile 07768486326

Alternatively anyone who prefers an external contact may ring myself

Lynne Paris 07795498733 (UK Mobile) - any contact can be totally anonymous

The draft programme design has been put together following considerable research in the field and also in consultation with an International Mastermind Group of which I am a member. It will be published shortly on my website as a basic template so that interested parties can now collaborate in detailed planning. My hope is that this event will be an opportunity to strengthen TG services and provide an opportunity for experts in the field to put their heads together and influence government provision of services and funding at grass roots level so that they support the people and families out there who are isolated, frightened and in some cases feeling suicidal.

Please contact me by email if you have any questions about the event or if you wish to participate in any way.

Lynne Paris
Diversity Coach - Together Everything Becomes Possible
http://www.my-diversity-coaching-gymn.net/

COMING SOON - TRANSGENDER BUSINESS TOOLS COACHING GYMN - BSY COLLEGE CURRICULUM

I have been asked to design a coaching course for companies and organisations who would like to develop great transgender policies, schemes and procedures.This course will be evaluated for inclusion in the course curriculum at BSY Online College. I am currently in the design stage and would be interested in hearing examples of the most difficult situations and any suggestions that would make working life better for transgender people and their work colleagues. I've done a considerable amount of research but always place great value in consulting with key people - ie people who are involved in some way either personally or professionally.

I'd be delighted to hear your comments lynne.paris@my-diversity-coaching-gymn.net

Do you feel stuck with your organisations response to Diversity Duty and how to develop a Scheme which demonstrates commitment to providing a safe and respectful environment for transgender people to work in? It's hardly surprising given the volume of European legislation that business has to implement.

Can you bear another day trawling through endless business and public sector websites to crib schemes, action plans and behaviours from other organisations and then attempt to adapt them to your own business, which feels a bit like wearing a dress two sizes too big/small and inside out. Invariably the style and content are so long and tedious that it would bore the pants off even the most anal Director or Executive Board Member.

Briefing for David Blunkett, former UK Secretary of State was challenging and sometimes difficult because of his visual impairment and because it was an exercise in communicating complex and difficult issues very briefly and simply to transfer to audiotape. This experience fostered, in me, a strong dislike of wieldy, inaccessible documents that demand the victim take a power snooze before even contemplating a read.

If you are looking for something concise and a perfect fit for your organisation, don't let others dictate what you want your transgender policies to look like - tell me what you want and I will listen and incorporate them into the design for the new Transgender Equality Business Tools Coaching Gymn to develop great transgender policies for your business.

I will be unable to respond to emails -- which may as always be anonymous -- until I return from summer in France.

Together everything becomes possible

Lynne Paris

Diversity Coach

http://www.my-diversity-coaching-gymn.net/

Transgender Conference 2007

I was privileged to do some coaching at the recent Transgender Conference at University of East Anglia in Norwich in June 2007. The Barbara Ross Association, which was launched on 6th October 2006 was at the heart of the Conference. Barbara Ross works tirelessly for everyone interested in or concerned with Transgender issues and is a wonderfully warm and frankly amazing woman.
The conference line up included top names in a variety of transgender fields surgical, trans rights, psychotherapy and biological as well as presentations from public sector organisations. It was varied, interesting and intense. I would recommend attending this conference which will no doubt be held again in the future. I am taking a leaf out of Dr. Douglas Ousterhout,s book by offering 20% discount on any coaching programme to anyone who attended the conference.
Likewise I intend to join the Barbara Ross Association shortly.

warm regards
Lynne